What am I doing this for?

“Playing safe or not is a choice I can make consciously and having tasted the thrill and joy of a wonderfully roller coaster year I have had, I choose to not play safe…”

Recently watched a beautiful TED talk by Ricardo Semler - How to run a company with (almost) no rules - where he reflected on many questions he has asked himself over his lifetime and that have helped him lead an exemplary life. Of all his questions, the one that really stuck with me is - What am I doing this for? This for me is one of the most fundamental questions we need to ask ourselves everyday whether we are doing something significant or mundane and is the fountainhead for a conscious life.

For those of you who have been following my blog, last year I decided to do something a bit crazy and mildly courageous - quit my job as a technology executive after 20+ years working globally and move back to India (where I was born) with my family for a mid-life reset and figure out what I want to do next. I made the sun and sand of Goa my home, meditated, swam in the warm and beautiful waters, spent quality time with my family, met some amazing people from different parts of the world, explored interesting business opportunities and executed a passion project. Then COVID-19 hit and threw all our plans out of the window.

While we had enough cash flow for another 12 months, we knew very early in the pandemic starting a business in the areas we were targeting would be a royal challenge and the stress of both spouses experimenting with their lives with no cash flowing in will severely constrain our ability to think creatively and to fuel and honor our crazy dreams. I still had connections in the corporate world and when one of the largest global organizations came calling, I decided to pursue the opportunity. I got the job - a really decent one that will give me great experience in large scale cloud implementations and with a decent salary package - and accepted it.

I started my new job a couple of months back but kept questioning myself if I did the right thing, will I go back to playing safe, will I lose the appetite for fueling and honoring my crazy dreams and was quite frustrated as I struggled for answers. This is when the question - What am I doing this for? - came to my rescue.

On my 45th birthday (my son calls me half time now...football fans will understand)...I decided to celebrate the fact I have half my life in front of me and...

I reflected on the question for a few days and the answer that emerged was I am doing this job for a few reasons - 1) I had always said whatever I do, doing some consulting on the side to keep even a loose connection with the corporate world would be nice and this job sets me up for that perfectly, 2) having a healthy dose of cash flowing in is something that will better enable Jyoti (my wife) to continue on her path and 3) the role allows me to work remotely for a significant portion of time giving me the opportunity to grow my network in Goa and experiment with interesting business ideas in parallel. Once I accepted the answer that emerged, I was able to see playing safe or not is a choice I can make consciously and having tasted the thrill and joy of a wonderfully roller coaster year I have had, I choose to not play safe and do whatever it takes to fuel my crazy dreams and thoughts.

I Don’t Know how the next year or two will shape and whether I will find an exponential business idea that also connects with my heart or not. What I Know is I will not play safe, I will experiment with anything that feels interesting and has some potential and I will enjoy the sun and sand and the beautiful outdoors in Goa as much as possible.