Why Diversity Gives Me A Buzz

“There was a time when I claimed, once I have a good corporate job, I will marry the kind of ‘nice’ girl they show in Bollywood movies and live happily ever after in my hometown Delhi. Ahhhh, doesn’t get more cringe worthy than this as I think about it.”

Sitting with a Swiss-French couple who speak broken English, an Englishman and an Israeli in beautiful Goa sipping a pina colada, enjoying their perspectives about and love for India, hearing their desire to learn more about the local culture and their challenges in being invited into the local community despite their best efforts made me think, why does the world and India in particular struggle with embracing someone who looks and talks differently than us. I have my comfort zones, my comfort foods, my little quirks that I don’t want to change, but overall I love meeting people from different backgrounds, trying different foods and customs, listening to people’s meandering journeys and having different experiences as it brings me alive, helps me evolve my beliefs that might not be serving me anymore and makes me even more open and receptive.

It strikes me as strange that India, a country that is more diverse than most countries in the world, celebrates and expects conformity so much. I don’t know why this is the case for sure but I believe the major contributing factor is respect for social norms and providing safety and security while important are given way more importance than questioning, inquiring and exploration. My early life in India bears this out.

I grew up in a middle class family - father a public sector employee, mother a teacher and an older sister by two years, lived in a two bedroom apartment, family owned one decent car and a scooter, ate roti/daal/chaawal/sabzi (Indian bread/lentil soup/rice/cooked vegetables) most meals, ate out and went out to the same places most times, yaati yaati yaata - man doesn’t get more white bread than this. I was good in academics, was a role model student during my school years and my path was set by the expectations set on me by society, by my family and by myself. I got selected into the IITs (India’s premier technology institutes) and was assured and took for granted the fact I will get a good corporate job or go for my MBA on graduating. During my IIT days, I also watched more Bollywood than I had ever or have subsequently watched and got fully programmed by the mostly mind numbing romantic musicals Bollywood churned out in the 90s. There was a time when I claimed, once I have a good corporate job, I will marry the kind of ‘nice’ girl they show in Bollywood movies and live happily ever after in my hometown Delhi. Ahhhh, doesn’t get more cringe worthy than this as I think about it.

Somehow somewhere though I wanted to experience more than the life that was presumably laid out for me. I distinctly remember during a family road trip my mom asked me what I want to be and without thinking for a second I said - a global citizen and this is what I became over the next 20+ years. I was recruited by a Big4 consulting firm to work in New York on graduating from IIT and from there through a mixture of serendipity and thoughtful decision making ended up living in seven different countries and nine different cities. I enjoyed every stay, understood and appreciated people from different backgrounds and their cultural biases, made interesting friends, learned to blend in while maintaining my identity, experimented with and enjoyed different foods, saw the value in different ways of working and created memories of a lifetime.

Now when I am back in India, I want to change India’s relationship with diversity. Diversity is our rock needs to be more than a slogan and a corny display of every state’s tableau during the Republic Day celebrations. Diversity needs to be lived in our living rooms and workplaces - parents, teachers, leaders and influencers need to recognize, appreciate and welcome religious, racial, regional, gender, generational and other differences. People need to feel it in their bones their views, ways of working and living, thought process, career choices, etc. are not always right or the best, there are multiple paths to arrive at a solution or there can be different solutions to the same problem and accepting or even merely listening to a counter view will lead to a better outcome. By being open, flexible and welcoming of people who look and feel different, we become more well rounded and simply better human beings. And better human beings lead to more engaging, innovative, productive and sustainable organizations and communities.

I Don’t Know if I can change all of India’s relationship with diversity. What I know is people who engage with me to learn from my lived experience in diversity will get infected with the buzz I get out of diversity and become champions for unlocking the collective power of diversity.